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Ku Bukan HambaMu Yang Kuat


Di depan orang-orang
Ku bisa tersenyum
Akan tetapi
Di saat sendiri seperti ini
Air mata ini jatuh bercucuran
Menangisi segala usahaku
Yang hingga saat ini
Belum membuahkan hasil

Tuhan…
Sungguh ku bukanlah
Hamba-Mu yang kuat
Ku hanya lah seorang hamba
Yang sangat lemah
Tapi..
Mengapa kau berikan semua ini kepadaKu??

Tuhan…
Tiap hari ku tak bisa makan
Dengan enak
Tiap malam ku tak bisa tidur
Dengan tenang dan nyenyak


Terkadang terbersit
Dalam benak ini
Jikalau semua ini
Pasti akan ada ujungnya
Pasti akan indah  pada waktunya
Te…ta…pi…
Kapan ujung itu akan terlihat?
Kapan perjuangan ini berakhir?
Kapan kah waktu itu tibaaaa…????

Tuhan…
Tenaga…pikiran…waktu…materi…
Telah ku kuras
Habis-habisan
Mohon tujukkanlah
Titik terangMu…
Serta KuasaMu…!!!

Di sis lain
Fakta yang menyakitkan
Kembali mengganggu
Pikiran ini
Dengan hobby membacaku
Ku harus mengetahui hal-hal
Tentangnya
Sungguh…
Sakit yang tiada terkira
Kini telah menjalar di tubuhKu
Bagaimana ku harus menyikapi semua ini
Harus kah ku tetap bertahan???
Atau…
Ku harus berlari menjauh???
Ku tak tahuuu….

Tuhan…
Maafkan hambaMu
Yang selalu mengeluh ini
Sungguh…
Ku merasa tak kuat lagi

Tuhan…Ku memohon dengan penuh harap…
Beri hamba kekuatan
Atas segala cobaanMu…
Beri hamba petunjuk
Untuk tetap dan terus berjalan
Di jalan terjal dan penuh rintangan ini…
Beri hamba kesabaran dan keikhlasan
Untuk menerima semua takdirMu…
BTP_10 July 2012 (5.19 p.m.)
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