Assalamu Alaikum Wr. Wb.
Starting this post, I’d like to say that:
“There’s a day which is not your own. But be tough and make
yourself believe that you’re gonna be OK. Keep in your mind that your best day
will come later at the end."
Well…
It was on November 15th, 2018. My not so own day.
It’s the day where I had a test to be a civil servant. Actually,
that’s the second of three tests which called as SKD (Seleksi Kompetensi Dasar). The first test was administration test (Seleksi Administrasi). SKD was given in the
form of Computer Assisted Test (CAT). As its name, I used one computer by myself.
Me myself already familiar with CAT.
***FlashBack***
In 2014, I had joint civil servant test to be a junior high
school English teacher. And, I failed at the second test, SKD. There’s only two
applicant who’s gonna be accepted and I wasn’t the two of them. Even, my score was
already passed the standard score but there’s still another who had higher than
me. I thought, it’s ok…maybe I was still expected to finish my study.
Three years later, In 2017, I re-joint civil servant test in
another formation, I applied in Lecturer position, Dosen Asisten Ahli of Tadulako University. Again, I failed at the
second test or SKD. My score was below the standard score in one kind of test
category. It’s TIU (Tes Intelegensi Umum).
At the time, I realized if that’s my weakness. Even, I was good in Language, it’s
still not enough to get high score in TIU. I knew that Math was my problem in
this kinda test. There’s no other choice, I had to accept my failure. I was aware,
I had no much preparation for that due to my activity in campus.
Last year, another chance to be a civil servant was opened. Of course, I joint again. In my mind, when another chance came
back to you, you had to take it. Who knows what what’s gonna happen next. It
could be your last chance. So, never let your chance left in vain. Okay!
Due to my failure a year before, I wasn’t lost of hope to be an
English Lecturer. Donno why…it could be the effect of my current job as English Lecturer in UIM. I kept trying my lucky in Kementerian Riset, Teknologi, dan
Pendidikan Tinggi (Kemristekdikti). By seeing all available formation, I
thought UNSULBAR (West Sulawesi University) would be my better choice. I prepared
all of the requirement administration in hard copy and soft copy. It made me
really busy because I also had another responsibility in my current job. And,
of course I had to do both well.
But what happened at the end of registration process?
Last minute, after being confuse with my choice, I changed my
mind. With some consideration, I chose UNTAD and rewrite my application letter.
Hopefully, that’s my best choice ever!
And, YES. I passed administration test.
***Back to the Test Day***
At the day, I went to location test earlier. It’s the first day
for Kemristekdikti. Before coming to the venue
of the test, we had to be in line for some steps. It’s very tight process that I
had ever joint. By Magrib time, I was
in venue and started the test. I did my best.
As we knew, SKD consisted of three kinds of category, TWK,
TIU, and TKP. For me, TIU which was my problem before be quite easy. While, TKP
as the other said was really difficult and be the reason of almost everybody
failure, for me, it’s not that difficult but sure, we really needed deep
analysis before choosing the right answer. And we’re limited by the time. As the
result, I failed due to TKP, too. I missed 6 points. I got only 100 in TWK, 110
in TIU and 137 in TKP. While the standard score should be 75 in TWK, 80 in TIU,
and 143 in TKP.
Speechless….I came out the venue with bad feeling, of course.
At the time, I was kinda dejected. Why? First, my younger
brother who tested before, passed the test. Even he missed some points in TKP
but due to he was cumlaude applicant, it didn’t matter. He had another standard
score. Another, my friends who tested at the same time with me, passed the test
with 3 points higher than me. In other words, we had only bit difference.
Before leaving the venue, I texted my mom that I failed with
6 missing point. Also, sent Whatsapp message to my brother. He asked my score in
detailed. At the last, he said that I had done my best and asked me to keep pray
for the best. Alhamdulillah....his statement made me better. I accepted my
failure well. In the bottom of my heart, there’s still hope to be pass even it’s
not as big as before.
What a tiring day ever!
PS:
One thing that also made me accept my failure with big heart was my improved score compare with the previous one.
While waiting for SKD test which was still indefinite whether I could be in it or not, I stay prepare myself as the best as I can. I kept remember what my uncle said to me when I told him 'bout my previous failure due to one and only reason, which was lack of preparation. He advised me to save myself first before others. In other words, he asked me to put my extra effort for the test instead of doing my current job.
PS:
One thing that also made me accept my failure with big heart was my improved score compare with the previous one.
While waiting for SKD test which was still indefinite whether I could be in it or not, I stay prepare myself as the best as I can. I kept remember what my uncle said to me when I told him 'bout my previous failure due to one and only reason, which was lack of preparation. He advised me to save myself first before others. In other words, he asked me to put my extra effort for the test instead of doing my current job.
To be continued ... !
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